I like taking pictures of food I cook/eat. I sometimes draw, paint and craft things for people I love. I live with a man who just so happens to be the love of my life, so it's pretty convenient.
My current priorities are to be healthy, save money for a bigger home and get back to creating things.
That was seriously too romantic.
And then there was this: I wish I could watch anything with you right now. Even static on the television would be suitable as long as you were within arm’s reach.
Gahdamn, that man knows how to speak to me! I can’t wait to see him in 39 hours. But I don’t want to leave him again. My weak little heart aches every time I’m forced to walk away from the table and drive back to LA. The girl I’d met during my first visit, who had been my bus/line buddy up until last week, will no longer be there because her husband went home this week. I was so thrilled when my boyfriend told me. I texted her to congratulate her and she told me her husband said to “tell Robert he’ll be going home soon too.” I really hope so. His 31st birthday is in exactly 3 weeks. I know he wants to spend it by my side.
“You just said you love me. Now if I say I love you and just throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may, and you’re lying to me, I’m gonna fuckin’ die.” - Clarence Worley
since I’ve had any physical intimacy. It’s getting to me more and more every passing night. I want a warm body next to mine. I miss the boyfriend. We haven’t hugged or kissed or anything’d in 43 DAYS. I know many couples go for months at a time without even seeing each other, but I’m not someone who practices restraint. I need intimacy in a relationship for it to make sense to me. The lack of physical contact makes me feel more emotionally distant. And neglected.
All of this is just building up the nervous anticipation for his return. A lot of uncertainty has found shelter inside my mind. To say that he has a lot to make up for is an understatement. This entire ordeal has been a test of will and devotion on my part. And when he gets home, it will become a test of reciprocity. I hope I don’t settle for anything less than amazing.